This is the second post in our fall/winter blog series, Meet the Mentor: Hastings House Edition. Each week, you’ll meet a different mentor from Hastings House, EMPath’s largest family shelter and longest-running program. You can meet last week’s featured mentor here.

Meet Gabby, a Program Mentor at Hastings House. After working with adults with developmental disabilities, Gabby joined the EMPath team in March right before the pandemic hit.

What do you do as a Program Mentor at Hastings?

I work with a portion of the participants here doing Mobility Mentoring® [EMPath’s economic coaching approach]. I encourage them to start setting goals and achieving those goals. I advocate for them and try to be their hype person. And I sometimes help on the floor – due to COVID it’s kinda been all hands on deck, so I help wherever is needed around Hastings.

How did you find your way to EMPath?

I was working with adults with developmental disabilities, and I’d been in that field for quite some time so I was looking for a new challenge. In my search I found EMPath and thought it would be a great fit and a new challenge because I hadn’t worked with women and children or folks experiencing homelessness. I started in March, a week before the world shut down.

Is human services something you studied?

Yeah. I went to school at Roger Williams University in Rhode Island and majored in psychology with a minor in global communications. I’ve always been interested in human services ever since I was younger. My older sister has Down Syndrome, so I’ve been in that world for a while, whether volunteering at events or going to those events with my sister. I grew up in that environment, so that’s always been comfortable for me and that’s why I stuck with developmental disabilities. But I wanted to challenge myself with a different realm. When I was looking at this job, it hit the human services piece but also the global communications element, because of how the Exchange works with organizations in other states and countries.

Where do people usually move to after they move out of Hastings?

It’s usually an apartment with themselves and their child. If they’re exiting here they’re either moving into a permanent residence that they’re renting, whether it’s subsidized or market-rate, or they’re going over to Hosmer, STEPS, Abbot House, or sometimes they’ll move in with a family member, friend, or partner and use their HomeBASE benefits to help cover the cost initially. I have one participant who’s moving into a house in December, which she’s very excited about.

Can you talk about what Mobility Mentoring is and what you’ve learned about it since starting at EMPath in March?

I think Mobility Mentoring is a great format. It’s extremely person-driven. It’s like case management, but ten levels up. With case management, someone is coming to you and being like, “I have this this and this issue, can you help me?” and then it’s the case manager’s job to just fix it or do it for them. Whereas with Mobility Mentoring, we break it down and have them take accountability and ownership of some of the things they need to work on and complete. What I like to tell participants when they first come in for an intake meeting is that it’s like we’re a team and they’re the captain. I just have to help support what they want, but they’re gonna be the ones calling the shots and making those actions a reality.

What would you say makes a good Mobility Mentor or a good coach in general?

Someone who is willing to help unconditionally. It can be hard. I’ve seen a lot of people who come into shelter with a lot of trauma, and this isn’t a choice on their part, this isn’t a place where they want to be, so with that can come some resentment towards the mentor, and that can be very hard. I can tell myself every day that it’s not me they’re mad at, it’s the system, but it’s hard to never take it personally. So it’s realizing where the person is coming from and being unconditional with your resources and support, and having empathy.

What has it been like mentoring during the pandemic?

It’s presented its challenges. But I think now, especially since things have mellowed out as far as people’s panic, people are able to focus a little more on setting goals and moving forward in their progress and rehousing. When the panic was first setting in, it was hard to keep conversations focused. There were a lot of changes in the building — they couldn’t cook in the kitchens anymore, all the common areas closed. So the women were stuck in their rooms with their kids, which is very difficult. We were focusing on wellbeing; they’re always able to leave the building, so just encouraging them to take a walk every once in a while. We’re all making the best of it and adjusting as needed. Everyone’s wearing masks and socially distancing, only meeting in person when they have to. I think everyone’s getting in the rhythm now.

What types of wellbeing goals have participants been setting?

Taking walks, talking to family members, taking breaks when they need to. Utilizing Boston Healthcare for the Homeless – they have counselors on their team. And acknowledging that it’s a stressful time for everyone along with having the trauma of being in shelter as well. It’s very overwhelming for some of the moms. So just taking a moment to take care of yourself. Like, it’s okay to just have a day to binge watch a show and be with your feelings.

I feel like that’s so key across the board right now for everyone.

Exactly. And that’s been a big thing, too. In general, boundaries are super important, but I feel like now it’s good to share some of how you’re feeling with participants. Just to say, we’re all going through this, I understand that you need time to go do something, maybe you can’t meet with me today. And vice versa. Like, if I’m not having a super great mental health day I might say, “I can’t meet today, do you mind if we reschedule?” If they want to meet today that’s totally fine, I may just be like, “I’m not very high energy today.” Just practicing communication of feelings on both ends. I think it’s good for participants to hear healthy ways of communicating how they’re feeling.

What is one thing you want the general public to know about EMPath?

Everything we do is for the participants. Since I’ve been here, I haven’t gotten any feeling that people aren’t in this for the work and helping people genuinely improve their lives and increase their stability. I feel like sometimes with nonprofits and in human services, some people are just there because it makes them feel good. I haven’t gotten that with anybody here. And that speaks to Mobility Mentoring and everything being participant-driven.

If you were the Mayor of Boston, Governor of Massachusetts, a Massachusetts state legislator, or in another position of power, what is one thing you would change to improve people’s lives who are living in poverty and why?

A big one would be more public benefits and advertising resources that are available. Benefits often aren’t enough. Like, there’s cash benefits, but with inflation and everything, it may not be enough for somebody to live day-to-day. And you have a lot of people coming into shelter not realizing they can apply for benefits or utilize resources to get childcare or money for clothes, or they don’t know who’s eligible and who’s not. Clarity is big.

I had a participant who recently applied for benefits, and they just gave her $16 in SNAP [per month]. Just $16. Like, I feel like you should give somebody an actual livable amount. Why would you want to give somebody $16? And they didn’t give her a clear message as to why – there’s not a lot of clarity into why the decisions are being made either. So I think more clarity and communication as a state.

What is one thing you wish the general public knew about experiencing poverty?

That it’s not the person’s fault. I feel like homelessness in mainstream media is portrayed as like, “Oh, they weren’t working, or they made bad decisions that led them there.” And that’s not the case. Nobody wants to live in poverty. It’s not a choice. And some systems are built to keep people in poverty. They’re born into it and it just continues the cycle of generations of poverty. It’s a lot of work to get out of it, and some people are fortunate enough to have resources like EMPath to help them build and utilize the tools that they need to break the cycle. It’s not a knock at their character or how driven they are. You can end up here or the system has planned for you to be here.

What brings you hope?

The participants do. Even some of my participants who are rough around the edges, we have those moments where there’s an “aha” on their face, like, “Oh, this is what we’re working towards, this is the accomplished feeling I was hoping for.” Whether it’s finding housing, opening a bank account, finding childcare. Their drive is so high, even if they may not outwardly be very grateful and it may not be all sunshine and rainbows, they still have such a hope and drive to live a better future and a happier life and to do what’s in their power to change that. They give me hope.

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Meet Mentor Fanny M.