This is the third post in our fall/winter blog series, Meet the Mentor: Hastings House Edition. Each week, you’ll meet a different mentor from Hastings House, EMPath’s largest family shelter and longest-running program. You can meet previous weeks’ featured mentors here and here.

Fanny began as a Housing Mentor at Hastings House in November 2018 and went on to become a Program Mentor half a year later. She discusses the difference between the two and how the high cost of living in MA contributes to poverty and homelessness.

How did you find your way to EMPath?

I’ve always had a passion for helping others. I was going to nursing school, but it wasn’t for me. I was looking for a job, and I came across a Housing Mentor position at EMPath. I looked more into EMPath, and I liked the vision and what they stood for.

So you started as a Housing Mentor at Hastings?

Yes. I was a Housing Mentor for about six months.

What is a Housing Mentor?

A Housing Mentor is responsible for the day-to-day functioning of Hasting House families and their young children using a trauma-sensitive, child-centered focus. They provide crises intervention, conflict resolution, and support as needed. A Housing Mentor also supports participants in daily routines, and in following Department of Housing and Community Development (DHCD) and Hasting House shelter policies.

Do Housing Mentors do Mobility Mentoring® [EMPath’s economic mobility coaching]?

Housing Mentors may do Mobility Mentoring here and there without noticing that they’re applying it in their daily conversations with participants. When a participant is going through a difficult time or has a crisis, they may talk to a housing mentor that is close by. Housing Mentors will in turn assist and apply Mobility Mentoring in order to better assist the participants’ needs.

In your own words, what is a Mobility Mentor?

A Mobility Mentor partners with participants and families to define how to best achieve self-sufficiency. We help them visualize themselves on the Bridge to Self-Sufficiency®, where they are now and where they would like to see themselves in the near future. We come together with participants and help them set goals and achieve those goals, coaching them along the way and mentoring them for success. We also motivate them to do things on their own and show them that they are able to do it.

As an example, say a participant who is undocumented comes into the shelter and only speaks their native language. An approach that I typically use is, if they’re interested in filling a housing application out, the first time I will fill out the application with them. Then I’ll give them a copy of the application so that later on, when they have more applications, they can refer back to the one that we filled out together and see where their name or date of birth would go. Then they start learning how to fill out their own application.

If someone doesn’t feel motivated, how do you help them feel motivated?

We have many families that are struggling with trauma in different ways. Getting to know the participant and their trauma helps me in determining a good strategy in how to better assist the participant. Each participant is different and their motivation varies, but focusing on setting goals around areas that they may need more growth helps in part to motivate that participant. I also use words of encouragement, reassurance, and motivation throughout meetings with participants. Showing that we listen and care about what goes on in their life helps the participant feel that they are not alone and that they can push through.

What are some characteristics of a good mentor or coach?

A good mentor is someone who is able to build a relationship with a participant. Coach them through the process, motivate them, and help them build skills and gain confidence to do things on their own.

How has your work has changed as a result of COVID-19?

We are doing less in-person meetings. A lot of meetings are done over the phone now. Some are done through Zoom. How many participants we currently have here at Hastings has changed as well – we went from 58 to 23 families. Families moving to permanent housing have contributed in many ways to the decrease in numbers, which is great to see during these times.

Where are people moving to?

A lot of them have moved to permanent housing. A few have transferred [to different shelters/programs].

That’s amazing that that’s continued even during the pandemic.

Yes, it really is great! Living here at the shelter during the pandemic has increased stress for many of the families. Some have lost their jobs, childcare, and opportunities to move forward, which has built stress for them. Things here at the shelter have also changed in great part; we had to close common areas for precautionary measures, and this has also contributed to participants’ tension. Finding housing has helped in a great way to alleviate that tension. Also relocating participants that request a transfer to a smaller setting or a scattered site has helped alleviate the stress.

What is one moment you’ve experienced that you feel particularly exemplifies the work you do at EMPath?

I had a participant that came into the shelter who was going through a lot of trauma. At the time she was a survivor of domestic violence and was fleeing. I saw the change in her from when she came into shelter not knowing which direction to really take, and facing the trauma that she had endured. She remained focus, motivated and happy; during our meetings she would always make me laugh. She gave me motivation, she reminded me of why I love to be a Program Mentor. I was happy to see her move into permanent housing and move up the Bridge.

What is one thing that you wish the general public knew about experiencing poverty?

Experiencing poverty can be traumatic for a child and a parent as well. The parent is facing many struggles and the child sees these struggles; later in life the trauma they faced may have a big impact on the child’s development. That child may become an adult that faces similar struggles and challenges as their parent did. Their fight or flight response is different in the sense that they may react irrational and confrontational to situations. They may struggle with future planning as they may be used to thinking only of the time being, how they are going to pay their bills, food etc.

If you were the Mayor of Boston, Governor of Massachusetts, a Massachusetts state legislator, or in another position of power, what is one thing you would change to improve people’s lives who are living in poverty and why?

I would lower the cost of living. And focus on helping people that are struggling to find jobs, people that are homeless or that are going hungry, try to find solutions. I feel that we do have the resources for the solution. But it doesn’t happen. I feel like laws and policies do not really help minorities to better themselves. They just keep them stuck in the same place, because the cost of living is so expensive. A lot of times someone has to work two jobs, and it may be difficult for them to better their education or prosper in life because they have to provide for their family.

Do you have an example of how the system keeps people from getting ahead?

The cost of living now is a lot more than what it used to be when I was a child, but I do remember that my mom had to work two jobs. She also tried to go to school, and eventually she had to leave school for a lot of reasons, partly because she had to work two other jobs and provide for us. If the cost of living wasn’t that much, or if there was other means of resources to help families that are trying to better themselves, that would be great. It’s difficult if you’re a single parent to provide for your child without getting help from the government.

What do you like to do outside of work?

Listening to music and cooking are my therapy. It distracts me and takes my mind away from a lot of things. I love also watching movies, reading books, and I love art. I’m a homebody.

What do you like to cook?

My favorite thing to cook is Mexican food, or pasta from scratch. I always try to find a way to make something from scratch. I like projects too – my next project is to try and transfer a photo to a canvas. I’m like, if they did it, I think I can do it too.

What brings you hope?

What brings me hope is working with participants that have endured trauma, and seeing how they slowly progress and become more motivated. Seeing that positive change in them, how they learn to venture in the world despite the fear they had. Also how excited they become when they achieve goals. And seeing their children’s faces each day, their innocence to the world, also brings hope and motivation to me as I continue to do my job.

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Meet Mentor Norma S.