Silent No Longer
Mar 11, 2021
In her new self-published memoir, 26 Voices of Silence, author, life coach, mental health professional, and domestic violence advocate Jennifer Joseph shares how she found her voice and began speaking up about the trauma and abuse she endured growing up.
In her new self-published memoir, 26 Voices of Silence, author, life coach, mental health professional, and domestic violence advocate Jennifer Joseph shares how she found her voice and began speaking up about the trauma and abuse she endured growing up. Jennifer was a participant in two EMPath programs, Hastings House and Stabilization, in 2013-14. EMPath spoke with Jennifer about her book and her journey.
Content Warning: This piece contains discussion of domestic and sexual violence and abuse.
EMPath: What is your memoir about?
Jennifer: It’s about the trauma I experienced from childhood until age 26. I write about feeling like I wasn’t able to speak about the sexual and physical abuse I went through growing up, and about the toxic cycles that can develop within a child when abuse isn’t reported. I also write about how I empowered myself to use my voice, and how I’m going about my life teaching others how to do the same.
What inspired you to share to share your story?
My children. I’m a single parent of a nine-year-old son and three-year-old daughter. After giving birth to my daughter, I was going through postpartum depression. I realized I was trapped in this cycle of seeking other people for validation to tell me I was worthy, and I didn’t want to pass that on to my children. I decided to journal about all my past experiences that were affecting me, as far back as I could remember. It was very difficult; I turned to my faith and sought out therapy to help me process. These things had been suppressed for over 20 years.
There’s this silence over the world, over all of us, that your trauma is your trauma and you have to hide it. Through my book, I want to show how my life unraveled because I didn’t have somebody I trusted enough to share my experiences with.
You write on your website that you “grappled with finding and using your voice” growing up. What shifted that you were able to write a whole book about your life?
I started journaling when I was younger because I felt silenced. I had a lot of thoughts in my head that I couldn’t say out loud, so I put them into words. My journal became my best friend.
Later, after having my daughter, I started to write poems and stories to express my pain. When reading these back, I realized I was speaking louder than ever – just nobody would listen. That doesn’t mean I couldn’t speak, that means I wasn’t being heard. That empowered me, and eventually the stories developed into a book.
I never thought I’d be a writer; I struggled with reading and writing growing up. So the one thing I was afraid to do is the one thing empowering me now.
What is one thing you want people to know about domestic violence?
That domestic violence isn’t just physical. There’s emotional and financial abuse too. Sometimes the emotional abuse is way harder to get yourself out of than the physical abuse. And people should know that abuse can happen with any age.
How does EMPath fit into your story?
Hastings House was one of the last shelters I was in. My caseworker [what EMPath mentors used to be called] was amazing, and I met a lot of other staff who were really supportive of my goals. Then, my son was having a lot of health issues, so I was placed in a scattered site. I had the flexibility to go to his appointments, cook what he needed, and live somewhere less crowded.
Unfortunately, at that time I was also in a domestic violence relationship that ended in the loss of my baby I was pregnant with. That was one of the most difficult times of my life. I didn’t let anyone know what was going on; I felt completely ashamed. But my EMPath caseworker was very supportive. She took that guilt away and told me it wasn’t my fault. She got me into a safer place and supported me when I went through court. She made such a huge impact. EMPath and the staff there are definitely a really important part of my journey.
What do you think needs to change in order to remove barriers that prevent people from exiting poverty?
They should change policies and try to actually get people out of poverty. The system is supposed to be a stepping stool. But with some of the systems they’ve set up, you have to stay in poverty or you’re not going to get assistance. At times my public assistance wasn’t enough to afford anything, so I would get a job. But then I wouldn’t qualify for benefits, even though I still wasn’t making enough. If you are receiving other income, even if it’s not enough to actually get you what you need, you might not qualify for benefits anymore. That’s why some people just give up on everything and it continues the cycle of poverty. Especially for people of color, there’s a lot working against us.
How are your kids now?
They’re thriving. They advocate for themselves. If an adult speaks down to a child, my son will speak up. It just shows that all the work I’ve done within has trickled down to my kids. I wish I was that brave and confident when I was their age!
Aside from writing this book, what else are you up to professionally?
I’m a self-empowerment and vision manifestation life coach. I have a private practice where I work with adults around their goals. I also recently opened a business called BeEncouraged, and I work as the Manager of the Wellness Department at Expressive Arts Place, which my sister founded. It’s healing trauma through music, dance, art.
Do you think you’ll write more books?
This is just the beginning. I have a lot more books in me.
Jennifer’s book can be purchased at www.booksbyjen.com.